Slop slop whack whack slip slop sloppy sloppy slop slop wacky pop. A honk of clown cum squirted into Bonkers lucky bedside wank sock.  His head splatter blissful climax like a blender with the lid off, “Fuck” he moaned and dropped his crumpled magazine.  The screwed up monthly publication landed on the ground, the centrefold…

Bonkers the dickhead clown went to the city of Ballycrumble to do his show. Ballycrumble was ruled by a fat lazy tyrant king who spent the cities crippling taxes on his super yachts, sports cars and his luxury golf course in the Maldives.  The city was a collection of bolloxed buildings all creaking in their…

Bobby Bounce the idiot child stood at the shut door of the huge church holding his football crying. “Jesus christ” he shouted  “Stop being a bollox and come out to play?”  Like most days in Ballydank, it was dreary, endlessly dreary like a stagnant puddle of dirty dreariness. The citizens obliged the authorities by tugging…

I got scammed. I have lost all of my saving, my head is melted and I’m fucking angry. The scam that got pulled on me is called the arts. The vermin who run this operation are called administrators. The administrators make various promises, about  the value of arts to shape culture and to help us…

My evening at the Kilkenny arts festival watching Shakespeare Tempest in the grounds of Kilkenny castle. Or how to ruin a perfectly good park. I’m guessing Shakespeare wanted to be understood. But not tonight. The words of Shakespeare attack us like a venomous army of midges, sentences full of annoying archaic words swarmed our heads.…

Although many artist will bang on about how the fringe is a place where art is pushed and stretched creating new and exciting experiences for hungry culture seeking audiences by the youngest, brightest and most fabulous cutting edge creative types. Know this is bullshit. You have seen the un imaginative crap that fill the fringe…